Fecal Matter
Yes, really. A pure gag item, with one genuinely useful side effect.

Where it comes from​
- Animals — cows, pigs, and sheep drop it every few minutes of their life.
- You — sneak to defecate (about a 3-minute cooldown). Not while vanished.
There's a normal version and a rarer golden version (glowing, with a bigger effect radius).
What it does​
- Thrown, it splashes into a lingering cloud that hits nearby players with Slowness, Poison, and Nausea.
- That same cloud bone-meals the blocks under it every second while it lasts, so it's an accidental crop fertilizer.
Fecal Matter is protected: it can't be sold, listed, or traded. It exists purely for the memes.